Pursing the Cat
by chapellefan
Summary: Soi Fon has some...interesting encounters while hiding her love for Yoruichi. YoruichixSoi Fon fanfic with everybody's favorite Shinigami, Ichigo Kurosaki. Yorusoi Oneshot. Rated T for sexual themes and groin kicks.


Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Tite Kubo's Bleach. Bleach is copyrighted to Tite Kubo and Viz Media

**Pursing the Cat**

Filled with nothing but the sound of pen scratching paper, Captain Soi Fon filled out a huge mound of paper work concerning the new recruits.

_This is absurd. _She thought as she inked her quill once more. _Letting this many people in the 13 court squads is idiotic, even after the Aizen incident._ She sighed. It was a shame to see not one but three captains betray them as she remembered when she heard the news with…Yoruichi-sama.

She dropped her quill and leaned back. She hadn't seen her in weeks, but she could feel her presence. One time, she noticed a thin strand of purple hair when she woke up in the morning. Another time she could distinctly tell of a cat's paw print on the lawn. And sometimes, just sometimes, she could hear her whispering.

She turned around. She looked behind her, above the ceiling, through the lighted window, as she opened her cabinet. The Captain then proceeded to dig through piles of outdated paperwork to find, a plush black cat. She remembered when Matsumoto gave her the plushie during a Shinigami Women's Association meeting. She blushed a little as she caressed it.

"Yoruichi-sama." She whispered.

"Excuse me…" Soi Fon gasped. In a flash, she plunged the plushie into her robe, whipped around and kneed the unfortunate shinigami in the groin. The boy groaned as she slumped on the floor.

"Identify yourself!" She yelled, hiding her fear.

"7th seat, 4th division, Hanatarō Yamada." The boy held his manhood in pain as he squeaked.

"How dare you sneak up on a captain?!"

"But, Captain, I was just going to tell you that…ow…the Women's association meeting had started and wondered why you weren't there."

"Oh." Soi Fon had so much paperwork that she had forgotten all about it. "Tell them I'm busy."

"But, so much pain they need a representative as well." She turned around and didn't bother looking at him, "I'll send Omaeda."

As she filled out paperwork, she said, "I thought 4th divison were experts in healing." And Hantoro just groaned.

* * *

_I have to stop thinking about her._ Soi Fon thought as she walked through the buildings of the Seireitei. _I just need to hand down discipline that's all._ Almost immediately she had seen a crumpled piece of paper on the floor.

"You!" she pointed to a random Shinigami. "Pick up that trash." He scrambled over it immediatly. She saw two Shinigami lip locked.

"Break it up, or I'll break your bones!" They instantly seperated. She was already starting to feel better.

"That Black Cat is mine!" Said a voice behind her. _It couldn't be._

"No way, I saw her first." Her. They must have been talking about her.

"Okay, how about we split her in two and…"

"Leave her alone!" Soi Fon jumped and knocked both Shinigami down with a round-house kick. She panted and looked at a…manga.

"What is this?"

"Oh, it's this cool manga from the human world called 'Black Cat'. See it's about this guy named Train and his partner Sven and-"

"You shouldn't even have manga!" She kicked them both repeatedly until they fell unconscious.

As she turned around, she said, "Get someone from 4th division."

* * *

On the edge of the roof on the building in the Seireitei, Soi Fon sat and sighed. _What is wrong with me? I'm not only obsessed about someone, but a woman! _But that was a lie. It wasn't just any women, but a princess, an elegant, beautiful princess.

She reached in her suit and pulled out the plushie.

"Yoruichi-sama."

"Uh…Captain?" She jumped and smashed Omaehada's face in with her foot.

"What do you want you idiot?!" The lieutenant bowed his face in fear.

"I-I just came to tell you about the Shinigami's Women Association meeting, that's all!"

"Oh. Don't bother." She sat on the edge once more. "Omaehada. I have a question." He looked up.

"You do?"

"Yes, how do you find a cat?" Omaehada, just rubbed his head for a moment.

"Well, the vet has a lot of-"

"Not that kind! Idiot, I meant a stray cat. A cat that always appears at the most random moments." Omaehada, oblivious to the real content, and picked his nose with his pinky.

"I got it! Why don't you put out some cat food and wait for the cat?"

A long dead silence filled the air until Soi Fon responded.

"Cat Food? What kind of idiot are you! I wanted some real advice from my lieutenant and that's the best you can come up with?! I even regreat asking you for advice-" She stopped in mid-sentence. She plucked a small strand of purple hair on Omaehada's shoulder.

"You! Where did you get this?!" She barked.

"I didn't even know it was there!" She groaned as she leapt off of the building. She was here. The cat was here. Soi Fon had to find her, so she could get rid of her once and for all.

After she had left, Omaehada, patted his uniform.

"Oh yeah, she thinks I'm hot."

* * *

She panted. _This is it._ After what had been chasing print after hair after fur she had finally found the place. Her reiatsu was evident near the cave as she entered. As she climbed down the ladder, she heard a panting noise. _Did Yoruichi come here with someone?_ She landed down to find the representative Shinigami sweating and on his knees.

_Is she seeing the ryoka boy?_

"C'mon, Ichigo. Get up and keep training." Training, so that was the answer. "Okay for this next exercise, you're going to…" she grabbed a bushload of Sakura blossoms in her arm, "Grab each of these petals before they hit the ground or you'll have to do 500 laps around that rock…with your hands."

"500 handstand laps?! What kind of idiotic training is that, you crazy cat-woman?!" Soi Fon stepped closer to hear the noise, but felt a small thud. She bended down to find _Maito Gai's 101 ways to whip your student into shape._ On the picture was a man with a bowcut smiling widely and quite possibly the ugliest green jumpsuit she had ever seen.

"Hey, you should be glad I took time off of my long day just to train you."

"What do you mean 'took time off'?! I had to practically bait you here with Cat Food!" Soi Fon practically died of shock. _Cat…Food._

"Shut up and…ready…set…go!" The Sakura blossoms filled the air as the ryoka shunpo'ed for to catch each one.

"Hello there, Soi." She gasped as she whipped around to find the older purple haired women staring at her. Her scent, her strong dark figure, nearly made Soi Fon pass out. But she shook her head and shot her a cold look.

"Why have you been stalking me?" Yoruichi laughed.

"Oh, Soi. What makes you think I've been stalking you?" Soi Fon wasn't amused.

"I mean it; leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered by you anymore." In the background, the oranged haired Shinigami nearly stumbled three times trying to grab all the petals.

"Hmm. The way I see it, you came to me." Soi Fon blushed and turned away.

"This is wrong Yoruichi and you know it. I-" She stopped in the middle of the sentence. "I have these…feelings. These terrible feelings and if you know how I felt…you would…hate me forever." Both grew silent as the only noise heard was the boy nearly missing a blossom.

"I have to go."

"You love me, don't you?" Soi Fon stopped in mid step, her eyes filled with fear. _How? How did she know?_ She turned around and stepped up to her.

"Yoruichi-sama, I-"

"OH NO!" The oranged haired ryoka had leapted and dived for the very last Sakura blossom about to fall between the two women. The purple haired women and caught the petal as the boy slid and crashed into a nearby rock.

"Maybe, this would be better if this were a private converastion." Soi Fon gestured to the ladder.

"Oh no, you don't Ms. Yoruichi!" The orange haired boy had stood up and pointed at her. "We made a deal. I got you cat food and now you have to train me."

She sighed. "Very well." She put two fingers in her mouth and made a loud whistle.

"Zangetsu! V-chip manuever!" Out of nowhere, a man wearing a dark jacket, with yellow sunglasses covered the boy's eyes and ears.

"Hey! How'd you externalize?!"

"This is much too mature for someone your age. Don't you want to watch Chappy the Rabbit, instead?"

"Not you, too!" As the boy struggled, the older women stared at Soi Fon.

"You were saying?"

"Yoruichi-sama? These dark, forbidden feelings I have, they must…"

"What? Turn me on?" Soi Fon gasped as she looked at her.

"Soi Fon, I've always been atractted to you, it's just that…I never got the courage to ask." She put her arms around her. She was scared, too.

"But how can we do this? I mean, I'm a Captain of the 13 Court Squads, how can we-" She was silenced by a small peck to the cheek.

"We'll figure it out." She said as she pulled the younger women up the ladder.

"Hmm." Zangetsu said finally releasing Ichigo from his hold. "Explains why she wanted to be a cat with a _male_ voice."

"What did you say-"

"Shut up and do your handstands!" Ichigo groaned.

* * *

Meanwhile…At the Kuchiki estate

Byakuya stood wide eyed in terror as every single Sakura tree had been picked clean of its petals. As he stepped forward to examine the damage, he heard a crumpling sound. He picked up the piece of paper on his foot and opened it.

_Thanks, Little Byakuya._ Followed by a cat's pawprint.

"YORUICHI!!!!!!!!!"


End file.
